lovers and loving 5th year class topic for discussion

Rock-a-bye baby
In the tree top,
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall,
And down will come baby
Cradle and all."
~  from "Rock-a-bye Baby," first printed c. 1765.

Probably for as long as nursery rhymes, fairy tales and lullabies have been around, people have commented about their stories' high-cruelty and high-severity of consequences.  The lyrics above, from maybe the most famous of English-language lullabies is no exception.  Yet many mothers understand the lyrics;  they understand how their love for their child is kindred to watching their own heart get up and walk outside of them - beyond their control - beyond their ability to safeguard, yet still carrying all of their hopes.

After hearing the artful lyric, a natural question that may arise is:

Why do our loves reside so often out on a limb?

I confess have no credentials, and no way to prove I know what it takes to be a “competent lover,” let alone a “good lover” (if such a thing could ever be proved).  But I can prove, using clear, objective measures, I am a good financial investor.
Being a Good Lover is Remarkably Similar to Being a Good Investor
To be a good investor, you have to look at most of your assets and ask the question:  Where are the best places to invest them?  As an investor, you cannot simply put all your assets into “cash in the bank” and play it safe most of the time – not if you want to experience better-than-average returns on your investments.

Possibly against many expectations, to be a good investor, to achieve better-than-average returns, you have to be exposed to huge downside risks almost every day.

Why?  The best investment returns are achieved through owning percentage ownership (or complete ownership) of business enterprises.  And the common stock market’s valuation of business enterprises is often “volatile,” a romantic technical word that practically translates to:  At the start of each business day, and each night when you lay your head down and try to go to sleep, you do so with the knowledge that on that day, or sometime during that night, you could lose a huge percentage of your wealth (as worldwide stock investors have experienced steadily, most nights these last seven trading days).

To be a great financial investor, you have to take most of your assets and invest them into enterprises outside and beyond yourself.

Love relationships are remarkably similar.
If an investor were to look at the daily percentage price moves of common stocks, they might be surprised to see that even during positive “bull” markets (where prices are appreciating) it is possible on most days for stocks to still lose value.  There can be more “losing” days than “winning” days in an asset class, even if the asset class is increasing in value over the long-term.
Even great investors’ assets can lose money most days.  Being a great investor is not about “winning most days.”  With investing, it doesn’t matter what happens “most days;” rather, it matters if you can realize great benefits at some point in the future.
Similarly, good lovers should not expect that “most days” are going to be winning.  They might be.  They might be in the big picture.  But if they are not winning most days, that sometimes happens – even when you are doing the right things and are on a good path.  A great lover, or a great investor, can feel, or have clear indications more days than not, that things are not clearly going in their favor. 
If a person plays it safe and doesn’t extend themselves every day into love relationships, they may face less drama, loss, and constant exposure to volatility.  But they are also less likely to have enduring love relationships, because love relationships, in the real world, involve volatile people, and the constant exposure to others’ actions, which are always beyond your control.
Investors who always focus on playing it safe, by always staying in cash or fixed-return instruments, don’t face as much volatility (but oddly, less-visibly, they may be exposing themselves to more risk – but that is a whole other long, complicated discussion – for another day, another post).  Almost always, in financial investing, the net long-term result of “reducing risk and always playing it safe” is:  The return-on-investments is less, and those kinds of investments (cash and cash equivalents) slowly bleed net value – as their purchasing power diminishes because of the effects of inflation (and taxation).
It is very likely that there are brilliant, great people who are successful for most, or all, of their lives because they spend their time reducing their exposures to risks.  But, personally, I doubt those people are great lovers – and they are never great financial investors.
To love is to risk.
There is no love without constant exposure to many significant risks.  Generally, the more you love, the more you expose yourself to risks.
To be in love is to be at risk.
You can reduce your risk of loss, but that will also likely reduce your involvement in loving relationships.

To be a good lover, you choose to live out on a limb . . . to some degree, all the time.  That’s where lovers live.  Similarly, that’s where great financial investors live most of the time.

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